She has what it takes

Rep. Karen Minnis
Speaker of the House
Oregon State Legislature

Dear Speaker Minnis,

I'm concerned that you're playing things a bit too safe by choosing to remain in the legislature. Why haven't you considered a run for Congress? You definitely have what it takes. You're decision to cover-up your brother-in-law's sexual abuse of a young waitress at your restaurant is proof of that.

Seriously, your actions aren't any different than those of Rep. Heather Wilson (R-NM). As the head of NM Department of Children, Youth and Families, she hid a file documenting her husband's sexual abuse of an underage child. Our Leader was so impressed by her ingenuity, he sent his own personal Beria, Karl Rove, out to campaign for her.

And the fact that your husband, a police officer, failed to report the incident in violation of a law you amended, shows your good taste in picking a husband. He demonstrated a lack of initiative that has made congressmen like Rep. John Shimkus and Rep. Tom Reynolds the House Republican Leadership superstars they are today.

Heck, now that I think about it, you'd be aiming low if settled for a mere congressional seat. Your willingness and ability to cover-up child sexual abuse rivals that of Majority Leader Boehner and, dare I say it, Speaker Hastert. You're definitely House Republican Caucus Leadership material.

Heterosexually yours in a biblically approved kind of way,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot