An FU away from rhetorical victory

Glen Reynolds, Instapundit
Ian Schwartz, Hot Air
Biggus Dickus, Blue Crab Boulevard
Ace, Ace of Spades
Bob Owens, The Confederate Wankee

Dear Mr. Reynolds, Mr. Schwartz, Mr. Dickus. Mr. Spades, and Mr. Owens,

With the exception of Mr. Yankee, you've all written posts expressing anger toward NBC for calling the Iraq Phase of Our Leaders Glorious Eternal Struggle to Resubjugate the Brown People a "civil war." I'm not sure where Mr. Yankee stands on this issue, but given other recent news, I'm afraid to exclude him from this email.

I'm sure you've heard the reports that the various factions in Iraq are mobilizing their troops in preparation for large scale battles. Once such battles occur, the rest of the traitorous, America-hating, francoslamunistofascist media will certainly follow NBC's lead. It won't matter that there isn't a Stonewall, a Nathan Bedford Forrest, or a Bobby Lee leading any of the militias. As soon as they can find a Sherman, they'll start screaming, "civil war."

We need to push back now, before that happens. That's why I'm asking you to join me in calling the situation in Iraq what it truly is: ethnic cleansing. If we're successful, it'll be at least six months, an entire Friedman unit (FU), before the media starts thinking "civil war" again. By then, everything will be better. I just know it will.

Heterosexually yours,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot