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Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Striking deep into the heart of Massachusettstan

Senator Scott Brown
Massachusetts State Senate

Dear Sen. Brown,

You're a very brave man. It takes a lot of guts for a patriot to spout obscenities to a room full of high school students deep in the heart of Massachusettstan. I'm particularly impressed by your courageous decision to publicly humiliate some of the teens. I bet it felt great to rebuke the smart-mouthed little bastards by name in front of their peers for things you suspected they had published on the internets tubes.

I am concerned, however, that you neglected to run this by Our Lady of the Concentration Camps, Mrs. Malkin, beforehand. She detests the word "fuck," Indeed, she believes its use by a low-level John Edwards staffer should disqualify Edwards from ever becoming president.

You're not a low-level staffer. You're a state senator who's often touted as the GOP's top contender for a seat in the US Senate. Certainly, Mrs. Malkin will be even more angry about your multiple use of the word, "fuck," while addressing the teens. And God help you if you threw in a couple of "motherfuckers" and "cocksuckers" to boot. She'll have your ass.

You'll need to act quickly before she learns about your speech. Send her an email right away saying that you support a final solution to the brownpeoplislamunistofascist and Massachusettstan problems. She'll forgive you for anything after that.

Heterosexually yours,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot

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