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Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Disco Rudy goes virtual

Full disclosure: I've resigned my position as Independent Volunteer Internets Tubes Director for the Michael Savage presidential campaign to manage Disco Rudy’s: the Unofficial Virtual Campaign Headquarters for Rudy Giuliani 2008.

***For Immediate Release***

Contact: Gen. JC Christian,, Second Life Avatar: GenJCChristian Homewood

Going Virtual With Rudy Giuliani

Remember this date, March 20, 2007. It will go down in history as the day the race for the 2008 Republican presidential nomination entered the virtual world. With the opening of Disco Rudy’s: the Unofficial Virtual Campaign Headquarters for Rudy Giuliani 2008, a Republican candidate now has a presence in the virtual world, Second Life.

"We’re very excited about this opportunity to share our love for Rudy with other Second Life residents," Disco Rudy’s creator, Joshua Christian Homewood, declared as he christened the building with a can of virtual Pabst Blue Ribbon. "But more importantly, we’re thrilled to provide potential supporters a venue where they can share their love with each other by embracing the Giuliani lifestyle," he continued, "that’s why we’re going with a disco theme."

Disco Rudy’s is laden with features to help visitors live that very special lifestyle. The first thing a visitor sees is an information kiosk he or she can click to learn more about Rudy’s marriages, divorces, wives, and mistresses.

After a short stroll past the table dancing area, visitors arrive at a display that explains the club’s rules: no fornication and no adultery. "There are no exceptions to these rules unless your name is Rudy," notes Homewood, "Giuliani is polling first among social conservatives, and we want to keep it that way."

"If you see someone on the dance floor you like, you can avoid committing fornication by popping over to the marriage station in the corner and teleporting to The Church of Elvis, Second Life for a quickie wedding," Homewood explains, "After that, you and your new spouse can celebrate your honeymoon at the Giuliani Defense of Marriage Matrimonial Relations Center located in the curtained area near the dance floor."

An expedited divorce station is available to help visitors avoid the adultery trap. "Let’s say you’re leaving the matrimonial relations center, and you see someone new with whom you’d like to engage in a procreative relationship," Homewood explains, "all you need to do is go to the press conference area to let your spouse know you’re divorcing him or her and after quick stops at the divorce and marriage stations, it’s back to the matrimonial relations center to consummate the new relationship." Homewood continues, "of course, Rudy did it in a slightly different order by indulging in pre-marital relations with his future wives before he held a press conference and divorced the previous ones, but the basic idea is the same."

Creating the campaign space wasn’t easy according to Homewood, "A couple of big beefy-looking guys, who said they were sent by Rudy’s associate, Bernie Kerik, told me that the disco/campaign headquarters would probably experience a fire if I didn’t give them the building contract and the cigarette machine concession. It cost me a lot of money, but I accepted their offer. Hey, they were big and mean-looking; what are you going to do?"

Disco Rudy’s: the Unofficial Virtual Campaign Headquarters for Rudy Giuliani 2008, is located in Second Life’s Pini Region. Second Life members (registration is free) may search for "Disco Rudy’s" (mature content box checked) to access a teleport.


Helmet tips to those who helped out: Blogenfreud, Stony Vale, and a couple of readers who wish to remain anonymous.

In a couple of weeks: my inner frenchman will open up Cafe Wellstone on Second Life. He hopes it'll be a gathering place for readers and others who want to talk politics and plot random acts of political theater. Unlike Disco Rudy's, Cafe Wellstone will be rated PG.

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