The lavender kapo

Susan Kennedy
Chief of Staff
Office of the Governor
State of California

Dear Mrs. Kennedy,

I'll admit I wasn't the happiest guy in the world when I heard you had signed up with Gov. Schwarzenegger a couple of years ago. Nearly everything I read about you noted that as a Democrat, liberal, and married-to-another-woman-lesbian you would serve as a kind of moderating influence in the Governor's office. That set off all kinds of alarms for me. Being a Democrat and a liberal was bad enough, but the last thing, the claim that you were a lesbian, suggested that there was something much more sinister going on, because it was obviously a lie--women can't be homosexuals; they don't have little soldiers.

My main concern was that you were claiming to be a lesbian in order to promote tolerance toward homosexuals--hey if a homosexual can serve as a Republican chief of staff, then many people might start thinking about them as being rather normal rather than one of the gravest threats our society faces.

Now, I realize I was very wrong. Obviously, you pretended to be a lesbian in order to make it easier for Gov. Schwarzenegger to persecute homosexuals. Who can condemn him for vetoing a marriage equality bill if his "lesbian" Chief of Staff (a supposedly "married" lesbian none the less) doesn't have a problem with it. Obviously, marrying the person you love isn't a s much a basic human right as some people think it is--at least you don't think so, and i don't believe anyone could be so self-hating as to actively take measures to lock up their love in a ghetto.

It was a masterful bit of planning on your part. It's too bad Bull Connor didn't have a phony negro serving as his chief deputy when his department was beating the hell out of blacks who wanted to register to vote. Jim Crow might still be ruling the South today.

Thanks again for proving me wrong.

Heterosexually yours,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot