Dear Gentle Reader,
It has been some time since my last post but I want you to know that during my absence each and every one of you has been in my thoughts and prayers. However, many of you cannot say the same about me can you now? Not that I’m counting but I kept a log of the floral arrangements, gift baskets (even the pre-made ones), lovely cards, and trinkets (many of which I know for a fact were recycled) that were sent to me, so I know who took the time to remember me and who didn’t. But it is the thought that counts, so thank you to those of you who took the time from your reprobate lives to let me know that you care. Special thanks goes out to Demmocommie™™™™®© for the most unusual gift of a personal massager boasting a silk-screened image of his face on the receiving end. How thoughtful of you, dear.
This morning I am going to ask that everyone join me in a quick prayer for the Republican Party. As you all know by now, Brother Sam Brownback has eliminated himself from the 2008 Presidential race. While this comes as no real surprise, due to his affiliation with that Papist cult, it is a blow to those of us staunch supporters of God’s Own Party losing a candidate this late in the game. With every head bowed and every knee bent (in prayer thank you very much) we will pray.
Why is it that every single time there is a strong Pro-Life, Pro-War, Pro-Family Values politician with the potential for propagating our cause, that they either end up in a scandal involving a male-intern, foot-tapping in a restroom stall, or simply lose steam and pull out of an important election?
Do you honestly want a Mormon, a Yankee adulterer, some dirty old man with a sluttish looking young wife, or some hillbilly from Arkansas who couldn’t find his way out of an open refrigerator box, running your chosen nation?
Why have Thou forsaken us like this? Do you want the Demoncrats to win the election in 08’? Help us out here, Father, and send us a man with morals, a case full of automatic weapons, a closet with no skeletons, and a wife who knows how to dress and keep her mouth shut.
Otherwise, Lord, I dare say we may end up with that pro-baby killing, pro-sodomite, anti-America, militant-feminazi Hillary as President. And just what do you think that will accomplish? Amen.
Your Friend and Biggest Fan
Mrs. T.D. Gaines-Crockett