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Monday, October 29, 2007

Teaching Religious Values in our Schools

Note from the General: OfJoshua is doing a special kind of ladies ministering to my sad, lonely neighbor, Mr. Garcia, who is still in great pain from his divorce 15 years ago. I don't like to get to involved with women's ministries, so I don't know much about it other that it requires the use of our trailer for a week or so and a lot of blowing (my guess is balloons--glass is too dangerous). That means I'm going to have to batch it in the bunker without my computer. Don't worry though, my inner Frenchman found someone to cover for me. I don't know much about him except that his name is Bob and he is some kind of satin salesman or something. I've asked him to attach this note to the top of any posts he writes.


Dr. Peter Ansingh
Superintendent, West Valley School District
Yakima, WA

Dear Dr. Ansingh,

I want to thank you directing the teachers at Wide Hollow Elementary to distribute the Child Evangelism Fellowship's flyers to their students during class time. I bet the kids are very excited about the Christian Bible classes the Fellowship is offering in the school library on Wednesdays. I know my grandson is. Maybe the other kids will stop calling him "Jewboy" now.

Until now, I didn't know that teachers could distribute such materials during class time or that the state subsidized religious education in our schools. I think it's a good thing, and I'd like to participate as well by holding Pitchfork Club meetings at the school. The Pitchfork Club involves children in educationally-oriented activities including music, games, moral object lessons, and stories about the greatness of our lord, Satan. Using the Satanic Bible as their textbook, the children will learn how to apply the stories and Satanic principles to their lives. Blood sacrifice is optional.

Can you have the teachers distribute my flyers to their students? And could you book the Wide Hollow school library for me on Thursdays at 3:30? I'd really appreciate it.

Yours in Satan's Glory

Bob Haldeman

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We'll try dumping haloscan and see how it works.