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Sunday, June 22, 2008

Rejecting the Freshwater Brand

Things aren't going well for Our Lord Jesus' favorite science teacher, John Freshwater. If that name doesn't ring a bell, please take a look at a letter I wrote on his behalf a few weeks ago:

Coach Dave Daubenmire
Minutemen United

As In The Days of Noah
Persecuted Church Blog

Dear Coach Daubenmire and Mr. Noah,

It's hard to believe that John Freshwater's job is in danger. He's the kind of teacher I always wanted as a child. He's the kind of teacher our children need today.

We live in a very wicked world. Our children face temptation at every turn. Pre-schoolers are seduced by purse wielding freaks of nature with TV antennas on their heads and lavender dinosaurs who undermine respect for the free market system by promoting the concept of sharing. As they grow older, science whispers its lies into their ears. Soon, they no longer believe that Adam and Eve flew to Rockapolco on the back of a pterodactyl.

That's why teachers like John Freshwater are so important. They counter science's lies with God's truth. They get Jesus involved in the education process, and by doing so, they provide the child with an experience they will never forget.

Freshwater's method of teaching his students about electricity is a great example of how Christ-based education works.

Most science teachers expose students to the basic principles of electricity by conducting a simple experiment. They attach two wires to a small light bulb and then touch them against a battery. Light results. The teacher then explains that electrons move through the wire from the battery's negative terminal to it's positive one, and that flow is called electricity. Our Lord Jesus is completely left out of the discussion.

Mr. Freshwater's approach is different. He replaces the lightbulb with a cross. The cross heats up when he connects it to the battery. He then presses the fiery hot cross into his students' sizzling flesh, burning the image of Our Lord's sacrifice into their skin. It's an experience they will never forget. The connection between electricity and Our Savior will be forever seared into their memories.

Isn't that what education is supposed to be about?

Heterosexually yours,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot

A helmet tip to each of the 3,723 people who've sent me updates on the Freshwater case. (that sounds snarky, but I really do appreciate the emails).

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We'll try dumping haloscan and see how it works.