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Monday, August 25, 2008

Getting ready for the outrage

The Democratic National Convention is happening this week, and I'm trying to figure out what we're going to be outraged about so I can prepare. I've never been a fan of spur of the moment tantrums; they just don't allow the time needed to generate the red-faced, spittle-flinging, incontinent kind of rage we need. Sure, the Confederate Yankee, O'Reilly, Limbaugh, Malkin, Hannity, and Lieberman can pull it off at the drop of a hat, but dammit, they are professionals. I need a little time to work up to it.

So I'm asking you to give me a hand preparing for this. Please make your predictions in the comments, and if you get it right, I'll feature it in a post (so please be vivid and creative in your descriptions--you know, like always-- so they make compelling reading.)

Here are a couple of things I think will send my conservative colleagues into a full-blown shit-tizzy:
  • The DNC credentialed BitchPHD, Towelroad, and SLOG as bloggers for the convention (SLOG may have press credentials, but who cares, they're still shit-tizzy worthy). It's already sent my friend, Bill "always in a shit-tizzy" Donahue into full spank-me-with-whip-for-Jesus'-suffering-until-I-cry-out-my-safety-word mode.
  • The fact that Ingrid Mattson, the President of the Islamic Society of America, spoke at yesterday's DNC Interfaith Gathering is bound to make Charles Johnson and his Little Green Militia involuntarily try to make underwear babies. And, oh, Pam Atlas may very well explode, spraying her Joker-style makeup over an area comprising at least eight city blocks.
So what do you think? Here's the DNC schedule. Make your predictions in the comments.

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We'll try dumping haloscan and see how it works.