Numbing Helps

OK, I'll admit it. At first blush, the news thatJohn McCain helped his wife, Cindy, smuggle stolen charity drugs into the country sounds pretty bad. But you have to put it into perspective. Sen. McCain is a maverick who demands things to be done his way. When that doesn't happen, he offers whatever help and guidance is needed. It's like when Cindy McCain went off message and joked that the Senator's hair was thinning. He responded by calling her a "cunt." It was his way, the maverick way, of offering her guidance.

Being on the receiving end of such guidance isn't easy. That's especially true if it's pretty much a constant thing. Developing an opiate addiction is one of the more affective ways of dealing with it, and that's what Cindy did.

Sen. McCain didn't really mind as long as the addiction helped keep her on task. The hours Cindy once spent crying were now spent numbly following orders and writing checks. She was finally doing things the maverick way, and the Senator wanted to help her in any way he could. He got her a diplomatic passport so she could smuggle the drugs she stole from her charity; he blackballed the whistleblower who objected to the theft; and he worked closely with the DEA to ensure she was never indicted. Nothing wrong with that. It was for the greater good.

I'm sure he'll provide us with the same kind of guidance once he's elected President. He will be hard on us, but only because he wants us to do things the maverick way. That's not too much to ask of us, and heck, with enough Vicodin, we'll be too damned numb to care.