Miss California USA
Dear Miss Prejean,
I salute you for standing up for marriage segregation during the Miss USA Pageant. No doubt it cost you the tiara, but I'm sure God will bless you with a steady stream of megachurch appearance fees and perhaps even a stint as the interchangeable generic blond on Fox and Friends.
But, you must to do a few things to get your own house in order before partaking of any of the blessings. Most importantly, you need to divest yourself of all the gifts you've received from homosexuals, so that you do not come off as some kind of hypocrite. Specifically, I'm referring to the breasts Keith Lewis gave you. Please rebuke them loudly in the name of Our Lord, Jesus Christ, and then return them to Mr. Lewis as soon as possible. I'm sure our Lord and savior will provide you with an even better set once you do.
Heterosexually yours in a chaste and completely biblical kind of way,
Gen. JC Christian, patriot