Human Rights Roster
God-Given Rights
A partial roster
The right to property
The right to be free from the theft of our property;
The right to be free from the theft of our houses;
The right to be free from the theft of our marriages;
The right to be free from the theft of our employees;
The right to be free from the theft of our means of production;
The right to be free from the theft of our families;
The right to be free from the theft of everything else that rightfully belongs to us;
The right to marriage and family
The right to be free from adultery;
The right to honor our mothers;
The right to honor our fathers;
The right to self-defense
The right to be free from interference with our houses;
The right to be free from interference with our spouses;
The right to be free from interference with our employees;
The right to be free from interference with our means of production;
The right to be free from interference with anything that rightfully belongs to us;
Saturday, May 16, 2009
Obama bin Saddam is going to force us all to have sex with Steven Pidgeon's wife
These are some of the rights, Obama-ain't-Merkin-lawsuit attorney Stephen Pidgeon believes are in danger:
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Would it be so bad to have sex with her? I'm up for it.
ReplyDeleteAll that a thief can steal is property, yes? Objects of ownership? So, families, spouses, employees, a spouse's genitalia, all "rightfully belong to us"? Not just belong, but rightfully belong. And no one has the right to interfere with how we treat our property, according to the last bit. And why do I get the feeling that this screed only applies to white men as the "us"?
ReplyDeleteNice.
Sigh. Sometimes, being a lawyer makes me so proud.
ReplyDeleteI forgot to lock my marriage
ReplyDeleteI forgot to hide the house
Somebody stole the gardener
And interfered with my spouse
I wanted to honor my mother
I wanted to honor my dad
But somebody got in my way
Lord, but I've been had
The workers control the means of production
Some commie fella once opined
I say to hell with that
Let's do the bump and grind
(after last lyric insert a fantastic dance beat and just boogie the night away)
End of Song
++++
Whoa.
ReplyDeleteHouses = spouses.
!!
My inner Frenchwoman thinks that's just so idiotic.
But then no one listens to her, because no one has to. She's just a gurrl.
General, Sir:
ReplyDeleteI hope he didn't try to say that all on one breath. Wottafuckhead.
Shorter Stephen Pidgeon: All your freedoms are belong to us!!!
ReplyDeleteThe right to marriage and family(unless you're a queerosexual)
ReplyDeleteThe right to be free from adultery(unless your wife is a nagging bitch, and you can't resist that hot intern's ass[gender of your choosing])
The right to honor our mothers;
The right to honor our fathers(because there are SOOO many people just DYING to keep others from respecting their parents!)
The right to self-defense(from woodland critters and people wandering on our lawns)
Sara:
ReplyDelete"The right to self-defense(from woodland critters and people wandering on our lawns)"
That's the trouble with liebralfascists, they don't tell the truth.
First off, it's a DUTY, not a right! and C.) That buncha offroadofascists in Texas was not just "wandering", they were peeing! Everybody knows that their urine is poisonous and it would have seeped into the groundwater around those patriots' shotgun shack and, eventually, have caused birth defects (although, admittedly, they would be hard to identify).
"the right to be free from adultry"
ReplyDeleteThat's not a right, that's a priviledge that must be earned Steven, at least that's what your wife told me the other night at the Motel 6.
Maddest props to MJS for bustin' out the rhymes!
Sir, General Sir, Is 'The right to be free from interference with our spouses' different from the right to be free from adultery or should the righteous Mr. Pidgeon also wish for the right to be free from redundant redundancy?
ReplyDeleteYours in confusion,
Confused
Unca Stevie would be proud of these fine KKKristian young ladies honoring their fathers. Jivester -- waiting' for the MP3 version, so's I kin dance my ass off.
ReplyDeleteSir,
ReplyDeleteThey better not interfere with my means of production!
"The right to be free from the theft of our employees"
ReplyDeleteSomebody tell him the Fugitive Slave Act has been repealed.