We know Grand Inquisitor Dick righteously employed torture to compel confessions in support of domestic truth-crafting efforts. He also tells us that torture resulted in actionable intelligence that He used to foil terrorist plots that could have killed hundreds of thousands of Americans.What were these plots? Until now, that information was classified, but thanks to the stay-behinds the Grand Inquisitor planted within the CIA, I'm able to share a short list of those plots here.
Summary of KSM confession after waterboarding session 6 (Room 101, April 7, 2003).
KSM detailed plan to forcibly seize ACME Corp; build "really ginormous anvil" and drop it on Branson, Mo.
Summary of KSM confession after waterboarding session 27 (Room 101, June 8, 2003)
KSM revealed plot to demoralize American public by using "sorrow ray" to make Glenn Beck cry repeatedly on television.
Summary of KSM confession after waterboarding session 33 (Room 101, August 30, 2003)
KSM described plan to have secret Muslim elected POTUS and institute socialism, fascism, and humanism. Only popular revolution sponsored by Aetna and led by hedge fund managers has possibility of defeating him.
Summary of KSM confession after waterboarding session 42 (Room 101, Sept. 14, 2003)
KSM confessed to plot to infiltrate detainees into US prisons, coax smuggled radioactive spiders into biting them, use newly acquired spidey senses and powers to escape, and destroy America by volunteering to work on marriage equality campaigns.
