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Thursday, September 17, 2009

The Sad, Sorry Plight of the White Christian Male

So Troy West is standing there at the door of a Morrow, GA Cracker Barrel Restaurant, and he sees a black woman and her daughter standing on the other side. Like any good ol' mullet-wearing 41-yr-old man-boy, he reacted by swinging the door open hard, barely missing the child.

The mother, obviously a racist like Obama, arrogantly rebuked him, saying, "Excuse me sir, you need to watch yourself you almost hit my daughter in the face."

Troy then responded in the only way a true Teabagger-American could. He called her a "fucking black nigger bitch," slugged her in the face, and then kicked her repeatedly when she fell to the floor.

He then ran away as the woman's child taunted him by "crying uncontrollably ...her body shaking [and] trembling."

And who was arrested? Yes, you guessed it: the white Christian male. We can't get a break in Obama's racist America.

I imagine Troy's the one who's crying uncontrollably and shaking and trembling now. At least his home voice mail sounds like that's the case. You can hear it and maybe even offer him some encouraging words by calling: (229) 776-6105. Or you can call him at work at (229) 776-0221.

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  1. Jeez,

    A good ol' white boy just can't get a break anymore. There was a time...[cue patriotic music] when that negress would have scolded her chil' for having been in the wrong place at the wrong time, forcing that innocent man to risk spilling the blood of that young 'un on his clean Nikes. Where are those good ol' days, anyway?????

    She should be grateful that her little girl was shown early in life what proper respect is. It is a life lesson worth learning.

  2. That black person should have known better than to be anywhere near a place with "Cracker" in its name.

  3. the mullet is the pit bull of hair cuts. just like pit bull owners and dogs are unfairly persecuted for the perception that theirs is a bad breed, the mullet wearer, too must walk on the fringes of societal mistrust. mullet wearers and pit bulls are both relatively harmless when they are raised right, their detractors proclaim, yet the perception lingers. perhaps because many who choose that dog or that hairstyle do so because of the fear and havoc associated with those things.

  4. What if this is just a cultural misunderstanding? What if Mr. West was actually showing Tasha Hill (the 'victim') his highest honours?

    It may well be that Mr. Hill routinely hurries to open doors for other in his enthusiastically energetic manner, then profusely greets them with the hint of the day 'Lucky snack; [a] bigger [sand]wich!', a reference to that Cracker Barrel restaurant's Luck snack contest, which had been grossly misinterpreted as "fucking black nigger bitch."

    Then in his very personable, albeit perhaps a bit energetic way again, he wanted to brush a hair from Ms. Hill's face, strictly as a gesture to show his graciousness, which he's now being denounced as having slugged her!

    ... you get the picture ...

  5. It is a sad day when a white man can pound and stomp on a black woman without getting all arrested and shit.

    But have faith, brothers. This ain't New York. This is Morrow, GA, where I'm sure he will find a sympathetic judge willing to understand that the bitch was asking for it. And if she was asking for it, that means it wasn't illegal. Bitch rules apply. Especially if you go to the same church as the judge.

  6. I can't wait until this poor persecuted fellow is a guest on Glenn Beck or Lou Dobbs. Just think of the respect for Teh White that Cleetus -- I mean, Troy West -- taught that little Negro girl! For the rest of her life, she will be telling her friends about the power of the Man in the Mullet. Whether it's little girls standing too close to doors at cornpone restaurants, or nations full of swarthy Mahometans who happen to be squatting on our oil, all will acknowledge the strength of the American Way.

  7. I think we've found the next Joe the Plumber. And considering how the last one was laughed out of Pennsylvania yesterday, not a moment too soon.


We'll try dumping haloscan and see how it works.