Dear Mr. Perry,
It wasn't very long ago when we condemned those who opposed Our Leader, George W Bush, and accused them of committing treason. We didn't prosecute those rebellious hippies (not for treason, anyway) and they went onto commit an even more treasonous act; they elected a slightly left-of-center black man to serve as our nation's president.
That act of electoral treachery cannot stand.
Thankfully, You have a plan to correct this injustice: convince the military to overthrow our democratically elected president.
I don't think it will be as difficult to pull off as it sounds. We just need to produce the secret section of the Constitution that deals with the Military Branch of government. You know the one I mean. I'm told the text goes something like this:
Article III.VBy my count, Obama is guilty of all but one of these offenses.
Section 3: The Military may seize power from the Executive Branch if one or more general officers deem the democratically elected president to be guilty of three or more of the following offenses:
Being something that someday will be called "slightly Left-of-Center."
Being elected my a majority of electors.
Putting his little president into an unmarried lady's mouth.
Being compared to some future tyrant who murders millions of Hebrews.
Being accused of being from a foreign country, like the Sandwich Islands.
Attempting to provide for the general welfare of the United States.
Allowing his wife to wear sleeveless frocks.
Hopefully, Article III.V, Section 3 is still hidden somewhere in the National Archives. Glenn Beck might know where to find it. He's always citing the other secret sections.
Gen JC Christian, patriot
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