Help Me Reach 12 on the Manly Scale of Absolute Gender

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Thursday, December 10, 2009

Mormons Show Catholics Their Balls

The Most Reverend Thomas J Tobin
Bishop of Providence

cc: Mayor Russell Wiseman
City of Arlington, TN

Your Excellency,

I was very disappointed with your appearance on Hardball a few weeks ago. You kept dodging Mr. Tweety's question about whether you support criminal penalties for women who shirk their duty to carry fetus-Americans to term. Your response seemed disingenuous and undercut your main message that Congressmen owe their allegiance to the Pope, first, and to the nation, second.

You could learn a lot from the Mormons. They aren't afraid to discuss jailing women who abort fetus-Americans. Indeed, one LDS legislator is vowing to rewrite Utah's compelled childbirth law to punish desperate women who attempt to abort their fetuses in secret.

He's angry about a desperately troubled teen who avoided the state's parental reporting requirement by paying a friend to punch her hard in the stomach. The fetus lived and the friend was convicted of attempted murder, but a judge set the teen mom free, ruling that the "Utah abortion law is 'unambiguous' when it states, 'a woman who is seeking to have or obtains an abortion for herself is not criminally liable.'"

Rep. Carl Wimmer (R-Vengeance) disagrees. He sees a lot of ambiguity in the statute and vows to "close that loophole for good."

I trust he'll do more than that. Indeed, I'm hoping he'll come up with a special punishment--perhaps the same one Arlington Tennessee mayor Russell Wiseman wants to institute against those who mock him: boil them alive and render their fat for fuel to light the city.

You might consider a similar punishment when you finally work up the guts to state what you actually want Catholic politicians to do.

Heterosexually yours,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot

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  1. General, Sir:

    Despite your being an 11 on the manly scale of absolute gender, I think you might want to just keep your powder dry for a bit.

    I know the Salt Lake City Morons got themselfs the Danites and Mr. Rockwell and they are sure enough some evil mofo's but them Cath-O-Licks got their own cadray of trained assassinationistas. Not the Jesuits, I mean they're alright, I s'pose, but them and the Swiss Guard are pretty damned obvious. Nah, it's the nunjas you gotta be on the lookout for. Was a time, when the RCC was fat, rich and happy that they had hordes of the Sisters of No Mercy at their beck and call. Nowadays, things being what they are, the "Call" as they like to label it is being drowned out by the siren song of "I am woman, hear me roar". It used to be that a gal wanted to be an athlete or a contract killer there just wasn't a whole lot of avenues to pursue such careers. The convents though, always had room for one more little girl who LIKED kicking ass and making someone write, "I will not chew gum in class", in flowing Palmer script, 500 fucking times, on the blackboard and that fucking chalk better not squeak you little bastard or I will be wearin' out this steel edged ruler on your heathen irish ass!

    The Church of St. Peter has indeed fallen on hard times, Sir. There are so few nunjas on the job that a lot of former students have been emboldened to go after the priests who were only trying to help them exercise their demons. Thank GOD, there is still one group of them left; the few, the proud, the Dominicans. Sir, be careful; be very, very careful.

  2. Here's another vid from the "christian side hug" boys(kind of, anyway).

  3. You have a interesting blog

  4. You cannot effectively outlaw abortion until you find a way to outlaw Boone's Farm and whiffle bats.

  5. Before Roe v. Wade a female friend of mine became pregnant at 16. (No, I wasn't the Daddy.) Good Christians told her she could either consent to have the baby and put it up for adoption, or a kindly physician who was standing by would proclaim her insane so that she would still be forced to have the baby, give it up for adoption, and then spend part of her life in a mental institution. She chose door #1. Incredibly, her Catholic parents endorsed this approach wholeheartedly. I wonder if this sort of thing still goes on in the corridors and temples blessed by Pope Ratchet?

  6. You mean there IS something wrong with punching a preggo in the gut? Whodda thunk. Thanks, James


We'll try dumping haloscan and see how it works.