"Terrorist expert," alleged noted homosexual, and World Net Daily editor in chief Joseph Farrah has uncovered the terrorist plot of the century: boob bombers.
From the British tabloid, The Sun, via Brother Bartholomew:
FEMALE suicide bombers are being fitted with exploding breast implants which are almost impossible to detect, British spies have reportedly discovered.
…Terrorist expert Joseph Farah claims: “Women suicide bombers recruited by al-Qaeda are known to have had the explosives inserted in their breasts under techniques similar to breast enhancing surgery.”
…Hours after [the underpants bomber] had failed, Britain’s intelligence services began to pick up “chatter” emanating from Pakistan and Yemen that alerted MI5 to the creation of the lethal implants.
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OMG WTF Exploding breasts all over the Moscow subway system right now!!
ReplyDeletehttp://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/36077879/ns/world_news-europe/
Who knew a Village Person would know so much about Chechen politics?!?
I suspect Al Qaeda recruits counterintelligence specialists from the comedy club circuit. If an agent's wacky plot to rule teh world gets mentioned in western media along with the word "chatter," the agent wins a trip to Persian Gulf Disney.
ReplyDeleteI saw on Entertainment Tonight that codpieces loaded with nerve gas are big this year. Everyone in Waziristan is wearing them this spring.
ReplyDeleteBut the thing to watch out for is short, fat men wearing tuxedos and packing poison gas umbrellas. Wa-wa.
I see this being made into a "ripped from the headlines" TV movie, probably staring Pam Anderson.
ReplyDeleteI expect a rush of patriotic American males to volunteer to work without pay at airports doing hands-on breast-bomb screening. Me first!
ReplyDeleteGeneral, Sir:
ReplyDeleteTits Talk is all well and good (I miss "Helmet Tips on Friday's, btw) but what I really want to say is: Nice "V" ad here on the site.
I wonder if their boobies explode? Too bad they are lizards. Shit, have I said too much? Goddamn spoiler alert fail.
Exploding breasts. Yeah, in your dreams, pal.
ReplyDelete(Of course, that was directed to Mr. Farah, not the General, who, I’m sure, dreams of things even more exciting than exploding breasts. In a 110% heterosexual kinda way.)
ReplyDeleteExploding boobies... what a way to die. Anyone know the next target?
ReplyDeleteGeneral, Sir:
ReplyDeleteI thought "exploding boobs" was the effect of reptards hearing the truth.