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Tuesday, June 01, 2010

The Impending Turkisination of The Holy Land

Pam Geller
Caps Lock Enthusiast
Atlas Shrugs

Debbie Schlussel
Sanity Reference Standard

Dear Mrs. Geller and Mrs. Schlussel,

You've proven, once again, that your blogs should be the first stops for anyone looking for the latest news about The Glorious War Against The Swarthy-Hued Stateless Bacon-Refuseniks Who Call God The Wrong Name.

Certainly, Atlas Shrugs was the first to report that the Gaza Relief Flotilla was actually "an attack on Israel ... a military operation from the re-islamicized Turkey." And as far as I know, Debbie scooped everyone with the story about how the Islamo-commandos broke every international standard for acceptable weaponry by choosing to invade armed with "axes, knives, iron pipes, and at least one gun stolen from an Israeli soldier."

Yes, the thieving bastards took a gun away from one of the Israeli soldiers before he could complete his "interrogation by gunfire."

But as good as your reporting was, it could have been better. Pam missed the whole Obama-Kenyan-Turkish-Hollywood-falafel connection, and Debbie failed to report how the Islamo-commandos used their own blood to make the deck slippery so the IDF soldiers would fall and break their coccyxes.

You can do better than that.

Heterosexually yours in a chaste, biblical, and full-on ranting in ALL CAPS kind of way,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot


  1. I think the flotilla fighters needed a bit more time to work out the kinks in their attack strategy (including the idea of invading Gaza, a charming seaside resort that caters to the powerless crowd). Those Turkish Gilligans basically came unarmed: the only way for them to visit mayhem upon Gaza was for Israel to rappel down onto their boats and hand them a derringer. Hardly a battle plan, what? "Excuse me, please board us so we can take a gun" is no way to invade a country!


  2. I'm glad to see Pammy mentioned a possible return of the Ottoman Empire -- God damn their fezzes and eunuchs, anyway! -- but she forgot to mention the Crusades. At least I think she did. I tried to read the post the Gen'l linked too, but I got lost in all the changing colours of the typefaces. And I haven't looked at Debbie's. How much sacrifice can you expect from a patriot in one day, unless he is the mighty, mighty General?

    Anyway, I see this as just another probing attack by the secret remnants of the Ottoman Empire. They're still pissed off that we finally won The Crusades after that 900-year halftime break. It must drive them crazy that the birthplace of Christ is back in the hands of the Christians. At least it will be as soon as we get rid of those pesky Hebruslims. But one of Pamammaries' commenters sees the cards that the Divine Hand is playing in this game:

    "Turkey is associated with the Sythians of the Bible from whom the anti-Christ comes. Turkey is also in the group, along with Iran, as one of those countries who attack Israel at the Battle of Armageddon. So it should come as no surprise that Turkey's belligerence in the mid-east conflict becomes more noticeable and obvious over time. Plus the fact that the USA is becoming less sympathetic to the Israeli cause, is allowing the stage to be set for the final conflict."

    Mate, I can hardly wait for the "final conflict"! Nothing like the "Final Solution" of course. Only the Bad People will be killed. Billions and billions of them. Because God so loved the world. And He loves the anti-IslammoPammocommenter, and me, of course. We'll be OK. It will be so kewl to see piles of human bodies everywhere. I hope they won't stain the Sandals of The 900-Foot-Tall Jesus when He kicks them out of the way as He walks the earth amongst all us Godly survivors.

  3. Bukko, I could be completely wrong about this, but I believe that the Iranians descend from an Indo-European tribe from some point in the distant past. Their language certainly is Indo-European. And the name itself, Iran, is related to Aryan. I don't understand how all of this could have happened. But it's a good thing to have Pam explain it all.

  4. Why would Israel of all countries want to keep another people in a GHETTO? Isn't that a lesson from the Holocaust? Did they forget, "Never forget"?

  5. General, you missed Fux News reporting that the poor Israelis were equipped with paintball guns, only to intimidate, not to cause harm. Those Muslim devils must have pulled out their hidden cache of Israeli weapons and killed and wounded themselves. Only to embarrass God's Chosen People.

  6. ... falafels, hmmmm ...

    Until the state of Israel, the Jews were the super culture of the world. Just think, they were able to hang onto their roots for millenia, and do so without a homeland. They did so by making a point of being successful in whatever nation they emigrated to, by being involved in the earliest economics of their adopted homes, even routinely learning 3 to 5 languages in the process if necessary. It was this achievement that the Germans resented, bringing on the Holocaust, I believe.

    Now, with the state of Israel, they get to be ordinary. They'll have to deal with a tax base, with a full spectrum of employability, not just simply demanding no less than the highest vocations, with slack-jawed indigents, with dissension, and with civil disobedience.

    Now that they have sovereign aspirations (IMMEDIATE repatriation of the world's diaspora), them pesky Palestinians will need to beat it. And they'll certainly need to stop making so many babies. It's gumming up Israel's plans.

    Disclaimer: All you have read here is a work of fiction to further cloud this issue.

  7. I would be more sympathetic to the "flotilla" if it hadn't been such an obvious act of provocation. They were trying to get ships through the blockade to Hamas-controlled Gaza. What did they THINK the Israelis would do? Wave and smile?

  8. If the Israelis didn't make such a science out of pissing off the Palestinians (reprisal demolitions, refuge camps, 'wooden keys', etc), then perhaps Wave and smile might be in order.

  9. Two points: First, the IDF intercepted the flotilla on international waters. They didn’t have the right to do that, regardless of whether the flotilla was trying to get through the Israeli blockade. Second, it’s hard to see how the blockade itself is legal; which means that the aid workers on those ships had every right to try to get through it.

  10. If the blockade isn't legal, that should be dealt with. For instance, Egypt could open its border with Gaza, as it has done since, to let aid through. Why do they close their borders? Why isn't there an outcry about it?

    As for the Israelis pissing off the Palestinians, the shit flies both ways. Rocket attacks are pretty constant, and the rhetoric of "we will drive you into the sea" hasn't abated a bit. Until the Palestinian leadership actually admits that Israel has a right to exist, I don't think things are going to get very far.

    I'm all for criticizing the Israelis when it's deserved, but let's not forget that Gaza is now run by Hamas, a terrorist organization.

  11. Intrepid TechGrrl said...
    "I would be more sympathetic to the "flotilla" if it hadn't been such an obvious act of provocation."

    Fer sher! What kind of manipulative bastards would provoke a strong military power by trying to run a "humanitarian" ship into the Holy Land!?!?

  12. SeattleDan said...
    "Bukko, I could be completely wrong about this, but I believe that the Iranians descend from an Indo-European tribe from some point in the distant past."

    Dan, I was going to express some skepticism about this theory, which I've seen mentioned before. The reason I had a hard time believing is because I thought India was not mentioned in The Bible. And if it's not mentioned in God's Holy Book, like evolution isn't, it's not true.

    I had always believed these "Indians" I see all over the place (especially up here -- whew! are they thick on the ground) were a Lost Tribe of Israelites like the Lamanites (aka "the other red meat.") That, or they were creations that the Devil sent here to tempt us away from believing in the One True Faith, the way that Satan does with "dinosaur" fossils. (I favour the "Satan did it" explanation because it's simpler and can be used to resolve my doubts about many vexing implausibilities.)

    But just to be sure, I Goggled, and doggone was I ever surprised to see that India (the brown one) got TWO shout-outs in The Book! Of course, they were in Esther, and who reads THAT chapter? Now I know, though.

    To think that all these years I've been shuddering every time I talked to an Indian, thinking I was speaking to a demon in human form. Of course, they're idol-worshiping polytheists who will burn in Hell, but now I don't have to be worried. They should be!

    Another bit of education I have thanks to reading Teh Genl's blog! First it was ravening she-bears, last week "emerods," this week Indians... I can't wait for the next bit of Biblical wonderment Teh Gen's sermons will lead me to!

  13. Until the Palestinian leadership actually admits that Israel has a right to exist, I don't think things are going to get very far.

    How come Israeli leadership doesn't "actually" admit Palestine's right to exist? Instead, they imprison one and a half million Palestinians in Gaza, and demand that they recognize the sovereign State of Israel's rights? Ever watch two cars trying to park in one spot?


  14. Was it legal? Check out the San Remo Manual on International Law Applicable to Armed Conflicts at Sea, 12 June 1994

    67. Merchant vessels flying the flag of neutral States may not be attacked unless they:

    (a) are believed on reasonable grounds to be carrying contraband or breaching a blockade, and after prior warning they intentionally and clearly refuse to stop, or intentionally and clearly resist visit, search or capture;
    (b) engage in belligerent acts on behalf of the enemy;
    (c) act as auxiliaries to the enemy s armed forces;
    (d) are incorporated into or assist the enemy s intelligence system;
    (e) sail under convoy of enemy warships or military aircraft; or
    (f) otherwise make an effective contribution to the enemy s military action, e.g., by carrying military materials, and it is not feasible for the attacking forces to first place passengers and crew in a place of safety. Unless circumstances do not permit, they are to be given a warning, so that they can re-route, off-load, or take other precautions.

    Anyone remember the French sinking the Greenpeace ship.

  15. MJS said...
    Ever watch two cars trying to park in one spot?

    Yeah, and the up-armoured Hummer made in the USA! USA! USA! beats the Yugo for the spot every time...

    IDF! IDF! IDF! Über alles!


We'll try dumping haloscan and see how it works.