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Thursday, July 15, 2010

Airing Your Dirty Grizzly Fur in Public

Well, Bristol and Levi are going to finally tie the knot, and Our Lady of the Violent Metaphors ain't none too happy about it. Here's the official statement she sent to me. I can't seem to turn off the MS Word review comments. I hope they don't show for you, but if they do, please ignore them.
That stupid bitch, Bristol, is going to marry that fucking douchebag, Levi. I'm pissed off about it, but as a role model for family values, I can't abandon her as long as she ain't a homo. So I'll try to smile. at 19, is now a young adult. As parents we obviously want what is best for our children, but Bristol is ultimately in charge of determining what is best for her and her beautiful son.

Bristol is so fucking clueless. I should be glad it's Levi and not Charles Manson, or even worse, Keith Olbermann. believes in redemption and forgiveness to a degree most of us struggle to put in practice in our daily lives.

We pray that Bristol and Levi get caught during one of their drug-fueled crime sprees and go to prison. Then we can bring little Tripp home and have Willow raise him along side Trig. as a couple, Bristol and Levi’s relationship matures into one that will allow Tripp to grow up graced with two loving parents in his life.

-The Palin Family
Elsewhere: This guy is very happy to meet Sarah.



And somewhere else: Todd, Track, Levi and John McCain celebrate the engagement:
BAINBRIDGE ISLAND -- The crew of a Washington state ferry says it got no thanks for taking evasive maneuvers to avoid a sailboat in its path near Bainbridge Island.

The Kitsap Sun reports the ferry sounded its horn and reversed engines Saturday afternoon to avoid hitting the boat at Eagle Harbor.

The sailboat briefly disappeared from the ferry crew's view as they passed. When the sailboat was seen again four men on board dropped their pants and mooned the crew.

The men apparently had been drinking beer.

9 comments:

  1. Re: "This guy is very happy to meet Sarah" -- Is that a pit bull in his pants, or is he just glad to see her?

    OTOH, maybe the guy ISN'T popping a... "natural male enhancement" and he's ALWAYS that way. In which case, futureVPILF Palin should be glad to meet HIM!

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  3. Bristol is pregnant again???

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  4. And one more thing, about "grizzly fur in pubic" -- when I think of futureVeep Palin, I think fur-less. Smooth-skinned, like a Brazilian seal... Ork! Ork! Ork!

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  6. Somebody better put a cap on him before he spills.

    ++++

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  7. If that thing lasts another 3 hours and 59 minutes, he's going to need to see a doctor!

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  8. Whelp, I think the scenario here was that it just wouldn't look right to have a good christian female presidential candidate in the running for 2012 with an unmarried daughter with a child, no.

    I would bet that, despite being spun like cotton candy to make it appear as though those two dumb kids 'just kissed and made up' w/o momma's approval or knowledge, more probably it was a case of l'il Bristol and Levi being given marching orders to tie it up for appearances long enough in advance of the election. Has anyone seen a recent photo of those two looking anything but miserable?

    I feel for the children, and the child of the children. Nothing but pawns.

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We'll try dumping haloscan and see how it works.