Steven Wilson was living his homosexualist lifestyle in a homosexualist bar when a handsome young Mormon missionary, Elder InDenial, introduced himself.
"Hi there, Brother Hairybear," the missionary presumably said, "have you heard the story about how an angel gave Joseph Smith a second testament of Christ and how Joseph translated it by staring at a stone in a hat? Would you like to be baptized, move in with me, and spend the rest of our lives living the heterosexual lifestyle together?"
Touched by the Spirit of the Lord in a very heterosexual kind of way, Steven immediately responded, "Take me, Elder InDenial, take me into your home, baptize me, and let us live the heterosexual lifestyle, together, as brothers."
Twenty years later, they're still living together in that house and still living the life of chaste and fervently heterosexual bachelors.
Really, it's true.
A tip o' the ol' helmet to Brother Blanco.