Help Me Reach 12 on the Manly Scale of Absolute Gender

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Thursday, December 08, 2011

Naughty or Nice

Mathew D. Staver
Liberty Counsel

Dear Mr. Staver,

Although I'm a big fan of your "Friend or Foe Christmas Campaign 'Naughty & Nice List,'" I worry that your tactics may be more harmful than helpful. You seem to be more interested in embarrassing your targets than in assisting them in finding ways to embrace Christmas.

Your "Naughty" entry for Aerie serves as a good example of what I'm talking about:
aerie – An American Eagle Outfitters, Inc. brand. Web site: “Merry Aerie Gifts” on home page donned with very skimpy lingerie model. “aerie Wishlist.” “Christmas” search revealed only one brief item (pun intended). Company unusually “Christmas” unfriendly.
Wouldn't you be more successful if you helped Aerie work Jesus into their panties. Perhaps you could submit designs for baby Jesus bras, Santa bustiers, or Our Lady of Guadalupe thongs to help them get that ol' Christmas Spirit.

Or maybe you could do as I did below and send them "naughty" and "nice" versions of their marketing art to help them understand what they need to do.

You're welcome to forward this onto Aerie.

Heterosexually yours,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot

Something Else

Here's a link to pre-order that Ani DiFranco album I previewed yesterday. We're not getting anything to promote this (other than the album for review purposes). My inner Frenchman has been a huge Ani fan for years, and he thinks this is some of her best work yet.

And thanks for the birthday wishes.

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We'll try dumping haloscan and see how it works.