GOP Presidential Hopes Go Up In Flames

Hopes for salvaging the GOP's presidential chances went up in flames on Tuesday when Jesus called potential "white knight" candidate, Gary Allen Banning, home. "It's a tragedy for the party," one of my RNC sources lamented, "Patriot Banning was the modern GOP personified. I'll miss him."

The Mail provides the details:

Police said Mr Banning was at a friend's apartment in Havelock, North Carolina, when he apparently mistook a jar of gasoline sitting by the kitchen sink for a drink.

Realising his mistake he immediately spit out the gas, but some of it spilled onto his clothes.

Sometime later, he went outside to smoke a cigarette and burst into flames.

Well, I guess we still have Joe the Plumber.