Help Me Reach 12 on the Manly Scale of Absolute Gender

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Monday, April 30, 2012

Crushing Souls For Conformity

Dominic Deiter
Rover’s Morning Glory
WWMS 100.7 FM

Dear Mr. Deiter,

I know you're going through a very difficult time. It isn't easy being the target of the toleranceofascists' wrath. They just don't understand you were trying to be helpful when you suggested that a fan ask his friends to rape his daughter into living the heterosexual lifestyle. You see, they don't see sexual orientation as a choice that can be changed,--not even by such a horribly violent, soul-crushing act as rape.

To them, you are a pig, an unenlightened neanderthal, one step above a pedophile and one below a grifter who steals a senior's savings. You need to change their minds. You can do so by proving that sexual orientation can be changed by sexual violence. I think I can help you with that.

Come down to my compound next weekend, and my men and I will ass rape you (in a purely violent heterosexual kind of way) until you're singing showtunes and speaking in grammatically correct sentences. Then, we'll have a bunch of not-men rape you back into the heterosexual lifestyle.

That'll show 'em.

Heterosexually yours,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot

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We'll try dumping haloscan and see how it works.