When Mitt's Prophet Speaks, The Debate Is Over

We all love America, at least we love our idea of what we believe it should be: a great Christian citadel where our betters wield the great sledgehammer of capitalism and Jehovah's mighty chisel to free us from the twin shackles of unproductive idle time and independent thought.

But over the last 30 years, as our leaders' arms have grown stronger with every swing of that Randian hammer, the chisel--the Church's willingness to demand obedience--has lost its bite. It now lies rusty and brittle from lack of use.

Look no further than the current occupant of the White House to see the truth in what I'm saying. The OBAMUNIST USURPER openly criticized the words of his pastor, Rev. Jeremiah Wright, without fear of shunning, excommunication, or even the mildest rebuke. That's how these hippie sects, like Wright's United Church of Christ, operate. They allow their congregants to question everything. They glorify the free exchange of ideas as the mutant gene that fuels intellectual evolution in their godless Darwinistic machine.

Mitt Romney's sect, my sect, Mormonism, takes the opposite position. They believe in order and authority. Questioning is never allowed. Opposition is crushed. Godly, authoritarian rule is a defining feature of their church. As our living, modern day prophets, seers, and revelators tell us, "When the prophet speaks, the debate is over."

A recent zoning debate in Provo, Utah illustrates the power the Church holds over its members. Neighbors opposed the building of a high-rise "Missionary Training Center" in their neighborhood. It would obscure their view, change the character of their residential neighborhood, and lessen the value of their property. They organized, yes organized like common communists, to fight the building and were doing well.

Then, the Church dropped the hammer:

But Sunday’s "invitation" to "sustain the Brethren" was anything but secular. According to Evans, Chris Randall, president of the Sharon East Stake, announced from the pulpit that he was sharing a message from L. Whitney Clayton, of the Seventy, and Elder Russell M. Nelson, of the Twelve: They consider the MTC rebuild an ecclesiastical matter, a decision that was the result of careful and prayerful discussion.

When the prophet speaks, the debate is over.

"On Monday June 25, 2012, I received an invitation from a Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints ecclesiastical leader relayed from a member of the Quorum of Twelve Apostles, the second-highest governing body of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints," Evans wrote in an email to McGinn. "The invitation was to support the decision of the First Presidency and the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles to build a nine story building at the Provo Missionary Training Center. I accept the invitation."

Evans isn’t alone in his about-face. He said that before the invitation was extended, more than 80 percent of the Pleasant View group wanted to hold discussions with the church, which told them to take it up with MTC administrative director Richard Heaton. After the July 1 church meeting, however, an overwhelming majority decided to drop their opposition.

Now that's the kind of leadership we need. I have no doubt where Brother Romney will stand on such issues as gay marriage, contraception, abortion, and slaughtering the hell out of those who frighten us (blood atonement.)

A tip of the ol' helmet to a big, shiny robot.