Shut Up Woman; I'm Watching Fox and Friends

David Kappheim is the kind of patriot that one typically finds in Rick Scott's Florida. He obsessively watches Fox News to learn everything he can about the great Kenyoslamic debauching of our great land. He employs this knowledge to impress his acquaintances at his other great passion, the Republican Party.

But, as fine a patriot as David is, he has a huge problem, his girlfriend. She doesn't share his love for Fox News and the Republican Party. Indeed she's a libsatanunistofascist. David was OK with that for awhile, because she was born without a sense of smell and, therefore, wasn't nagging him every month to take a shower.

But last week, she recited a factual statement one too many times, and David, having enough of her reality-based thinking, gave in to an impulse to choke her.

I'll let the Palm Peach Post tell the rest of the story:

When Kappheim was approached by the arresting deputy, he said “he was very conservative and (his girlfriend) was a liberal.” He also told the deputy that “he felt that he was going to have to kill her,” the report said.
Kappheim also admitted to trying to kill his girlfriend three times, the deputy said...

While inside of the woman’s apartment, the deputy said he found documents that made him believe Kappheim is obsessed with Fox News and the Republican Party, and that he may be a danger to others.