Help Me Reach 12 on the Manly Scale of Absolute Gender

If you like the patriotic work we're doing, please consider donating a few dollars. We could use it. (if asked for my email, use "gen.jc.christian@gmail.com.")
Thanks!

Monday, January 21, 2013

Governor Has His Way With Our Lord's Immaculate Corpse

Judie Brown
Pontifical Academy for Life
Funder, American Life League

Mrs. Brown,

I can't express how angry I am after reading your recent column in Life Site News about Cardinal Timothy Dolan's lenience with Gov. Andrew Cuomo. While I wholeheartedly agree with your assertion that Gov. Cuomo should be excommunicated for his crimes against fetus-Americans, I'm outraged by your demand that Cardinal Dolan should deny the "body of Christ" to the governor.

To be clear, it is not the demand that has upset me, it's the news that princes of the church are pimping out the body of Our Lord and Savior to powerful men. I mean, hey, my God, according to you, Catholic Cardinals are allowing men--even men of a southern European heritage, and we know what they're like--to do what they wish with Our Lord Jesus' body.

And is it the whole body or are you just talking about His sacred foreskin? I know the church possessed the latter until it disappeared in 1983. Or did it disappear? Could it be that the cardinals are giving it to powerful men to play with or, perhaps, even suck upon like some kind of redeeming lozenge?

Or does the Church secretly possess the rest of His body, the part that was separated from the foreskin by some unknown moyel around 1 AD? If so, why doesn't Church exhibit it rather than pimp it off to sick powerful men to be treated like a drunken, yet Teutonicly Apollonian, Msgr. Georg Gaenswein on a Papal vacation?

As a member of a Vatican academy, I hope you'll look into this.

Heterosexually yours in a chaste, biblically appropriate, and non-Christ-violating way,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot

No comments:

Post a Comment

We'll try dumping haloscan and see how it works.

Post a Comment