The Grand Tea Party Unification Theory

Dan Amato
Digger's Realm

Dear Mr. Amato,

Unlike local, state and federal law enforcement agencies, the media, the military, and those in the reality-based community who openly laugh at our fear of the brown invader, I've never doubted your reporting on the Los Zetas ranch takeovers. I know it hasn't been easy for you to defend your story. No one likes to be called deluded, insane, or a liar, but you've handled it well--with only a minimal amount of screeching and no cutting that I'm aware of.

All that's over now, because we finally have evidence. Compare these aerial photos of the Virginal White Woman Ranch taken on March 2 and August 11.



As you can see, a Taco Bell was built on the property sometime after March 2. That's the best evidence yet that Los Zetas has taken the property. Invading Mexican drug cartel soldiers aren't worth a damn until they've had a bowl of their homeland's staple, Taco Bell's Cheesy Fiesta Potatoes, with their morning coffee.

But, unfortunately, it's even worse than anyone could have imagined. Los Zetas isn't an ordinary Mexican drug cartel--it's a Mexican Muslim drug cartel. The proof is in the photo. They've built a mosque. No doubt a nursery for terror babies is next.

The existence of an Al Zetas mosque at Virginal White Women's Ranch also provides a critical piece of evidence we need to prove the Grand Tea Party Unification Theory. You've probably seen the reports that a Tea Party Archeology Team unearthed the Clenis (see figure c) during a birth certificate dig in Siaya, Kenya a few months ago. What you don't know is that a gang of "brown foreign-talking dudes" stole it from them last week. That sounds like Los Zetas to me.

If it was Los Zetas, I think we've finally tied Obama, Islam, Kenya, Gays, Mexicans, the Antichrist and the Clenis together. Take a look at the figures below, and you'll see what I mean.





In Figure A, I drew lines connecting Laredo, Siaya, and Mecca.

Now take a look at Figure B and notice how those lines become a biometric identifier when overlaid on Obama's face. Laredo marks the outer edge of Obama's ear. The distance between Laredo and Siaya proportionately matches the distance between the edge of his ear and the top of his upper lip, and, again proportionally, the distance between his lip and his left nostril matches that between Siaya and Mecca.

In Figure C, I rotated the lines clockwise by 66.6 degrees (the number of the beast) and found they matched the length and diameter of the Clenis. Again, It's all right there in the biometrics. I also found that experimenting on a photo of the Clenis aroused me in a way that caused me to question my commitment to the heterosexual lifestyle. That's the kind of power it holds. It's the kind of power the radical mullahs of Los Zetas craved and now possess. It's like the Arc of the Covenant, but instead of melting Nazi faces, it makes you want to listen to show tunes.

Scary.

Fighting hard to be, once again, heterosexually yours,

Gen. JC Christian

Veterans and McCain

Hi there! This is Elderta from At the End of the Boom. I want to thank the General for asking me to post here sometimes. Thank you! Hello everyone!! And to folks in Second Life, hello from Tanna!

War heroes are great, but war heroes change. War heroes become politicians.

My brain is exploding these days. I see Sen. John McCain cling to his military service. Yes, it was torturous, to say the least, and dude, I salute you for it; but it sickens me at the same time. Folks hail his traumatic events, but they vilify Sen. John Kerry's equally heroic events. And it makes me sick because John McCain has been forgetting soldiers since 2005.

Do not be fooled: John McCain is a Republican, no matter how he can reach across the aisle. It's the kind of Republicans any sane person would not want to be aligned with. These guys are masterful bi-triangulators of the spoken word, overlapping each other, shouting loudly, getting up and taking their toys home and swallowing the truth whole up until the truth is not only obscured, but plummeted senseless. In other words, they lie, and they lie right to your face.

Back in 2005, during Congress's incredible piece of banking and insurance man love, known as the Bankruptcy Abuse Prevention and Consumer Protection Act of 2005, the following amendment, introduced by Sen. Dick Durbin (D-Il) was defeated:

U.S. Senate Roll Call Votes 109th Congress - 1st Session

as compiled through Senate LIS by the Senate Bill Clerk under the direction of the Secretary of the Senate

Bankruptcy Abuse Prevention and Consumer Protection Act of 2005

Vote Summary

Question: On the Amendment (Durbin Amdt. No. 16, As Modified. )
Vote Number: 13 Vote Date: March 1, 2005, 06:07 PM
Required For Majority: 1/2 Vote Result: Amendment Rejected
Amendment Number: S.Amdt. 16 to S. 256
Statement of Purpose: To protect servicemembers and veterans from means testing in bankruptcy, to disallow certain claims by lenders charging usurious interest rates to servicemembers, and to allow servicemembers to exempt property based on the law of the State of their premilitary residence.
Vote Counts: YEAs 38
NAYs 58
Not Voting 4

The amendment went down in flames. McCain and Hagel were in the Nay column; Kerry and Obama and Clinton, yea.

So the next time someone tells you that McCain loves the troops, tell them that you don't believe them. If he loved them so much, how come he did not break with his Party and vote for the best interests of the Armed Services?

The "reintroduction of John McCain," is already beginning. Sure, there may be some good things here and there and far and wide between, but really, he's the same old same old.

It's the same mouth service. Voting for McCain is voting for Bush III.

DO. NOT. FORGET. IT.

Vigil (to End the War) - [MTV Vid 3-25-08] and Obama in Eugene Pt. 1 [MTV vlog 3-28-08]

ON THE FIFTH ANNIVERSARY of the Iraq Invasion, MoveOn held vigils all over the country at the same time. This video commemorates and captures the public vigil held in Eugene, Oregon to call for an end to the Iraq Occupation.

OBAMA IN OREGON (PT. 1) is the name of the new video shot and edited by yours truly, Oregon's Official MTV Choose or Lose Street Team 08 Citizen Journalist, and just as the title foreshadows, there will be two more parts to this tryptych of political goodness. Clicking the picture above will take you to the video page. Playing the video will bring you a little closer to the excitement that hit the city of Eugene when Obama came to town.

The latest videos for my MTV Citizen Journalist gig.

Crossposted at The Unapologetic Mexican (1 & 2), Culture Kitchen (1 & 2), and OpEdNews (1 & 2).