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Friday, March 14, 2008

Jesus: The "H" stands for "Halvor"

I don't know what angers me more: Jerimiah Wright's statement that Our Lord Jesus, was black, or all the libislamunistofascists saying he's brown. Haven't they seen the pictures? He's as blond-haired and blue-eyed as Popenfuhrer Benedict XIV.

But I guess I can understand some of the confusion. He was a Nazarene after all, so it's not surprising that so many people think he was Jewish and Semitically hued.

Still, it's frustrating that people ignore the most important clue about our Savior's ethnicity, his genealogy. The reason it's so often overlooked is due to the influence of liberal academicians and theologians who have for so long have suppressed the true history of Israel. Indeed, they've done so so effectively, about the only place you can find it is on (you may be aware of Stormfront due to it's favorable coverage on Fox).

Although Jesus' mother, Mary, could trace one ancestral line to King David, the rest of her family tree was firmly planted in Bar Oslo, Bethlehem's Norwegian Quarter. It was a vibrantly Scandinavian neighborhood, a place where all the ethnicities of Bethlehem (except the God damned Swedes) gathered to dine in the Norwegian restaurants and dance the Eikerril until the wee house of the morning. Much of the legacy of that neighborhood lives on today. The fur-lined Viking helmet, for instance, became the shtreimel. And lutefisk? Now, we call it gefilte fish.

Mormons would take it another step and point to God as the physical father because they believe Elohim (who looks a lot like Edgar Winter would have looked had he joined ZZ Top) came to earth in the form of a swan and impregnated Mary (presumedly after showing her his collection of Barry white LPs). But Jesus H Christopherson, that's just nuts!

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We'll try dumping haloscan and see how it works.