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Wednesday, April 06, 2011

Rep. Bachmann Punches Immoral Painting



Teabag-American maddona, Rep. Michele Bachmann, struck a blow for American values on Friday, when she attacked a painting in the National Gallery. Apparently, Rep. Bachmann was upset about the painting, "Two Tahitian Women," by the Frenchman, Gauguin, because it featured a pair of benippled brown women. Here's what she had to say about it:
The painting is very homosexual. I was trying to remove it. I think it should be burned ... I am from the American CIA and I have a radio in my head. I am going to kill you.
I thank God we have Congresswomen, like Rep. Bachmann, who have the courage to confront French, brown, benippled, homosexualist immorality wherever they find it.

Correction: Unfortunately, I misidentified the painting's attacker. It wasn't Rep. Bachmann; it just sounded like her. I apologize for my mistake.

10 comments:

  1. Just awful. But being the kind of guy I am, I'm willing to store all the paintings with benippled women of any shade in my den. I know I will take very good care of them. You can count on me!

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  2. To be fair, General, it was a mistake any of us could, and probably would, have made. I mean, it's not like they sound any different.

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  3. OMG! Its *not* Bachmann? Thats even worse! This poor woman is also picking up the messages from Bachmann's CIA in-head radio!
    Someone save her! Preferably not 2 topless Tahitian girls.
    Will we all be hearing Bachmann's CIA radio messages in our heads? Is that how the tea party wins?

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  4. Well, I, for one, feel pretty shortchanged about the in-head radio. I mean come on here I am a war veteran and I didn't even get a cool in-head radio installed(am-fm please).
    Wait,.... what's that? (hand up to ear-actually not needed...)
    Sorry, have to run...something er....came up.

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  5. Burns has been arrested several times on has convictions for carjacking, disorderly conduct, trespassing, and assault on a law enforcement officer. She served six months in jail after a 2006 conviction for assault and battery on a police officer.

    That part of Burns' bio seems pretty darn Bakkkhman to me too, so I can see why the mistake.

    P.S. Is that a real watermelon in the double-nipped woman's hands? The most temptacious of fruits...

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  6. General, Sir:

    I'm so upset to hear that a run'o'themill lunatic did that instead of Minnesota's favorite SKKKrotalMurKKKin patriotess.

    Y'know, Sir, I been wondrin' if maybe Michele couldn't benefit by getting some name recognition by having Mr. Larry Flynt make a fine film about her like he did about St. Sarah The Impalinator. I'm thinkin' a workin' title like, "Missy Backdoor And The Rogerin' Rangers Of The Republic", for now.

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  7. When’s somebody going to attack the most homosexualist artwork ever – that “David” statue by Michelangelo. I mean, the guy’s unit is, like, huge. It makes me uncomfortable even to think about it. Not to mention inadequate.

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  8. From your mouth to God's ear Col. von Ebers.

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  9. Colonel David von Ebers:

    Congratulations on your promotion, I'm still a half-a-buck private but working in the motor pool has other advantages.

    I think I'm seeing comments by oneayour homies over at SciBlogs. He signs as "Dr. X." and lives in Oak Park.

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  10. Homosexualist breasts? Tell me it ain't so Genr'l. In the holy hauls of congress? I see why a MB wannabe would throw a look-a-like rant about homo art subliminally making real men dress like not-men and run for office. They got my vote historically speaking.

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We'll try dumping haloscan and see how it works.