Help Me Reach 12 on the Manly Scale of Absolute Gender

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Friday, April 04, 2003

Someone sends me a letter for a change

I'm officially big time. Cable newsman Roger Walters reads my blog.

Dear (I use "dear" in a purely fraternal heterosexual way) Gen Christian,

I've been perusing your blog while traveling with the 7th Cavalry through Central Iraq. All day long, I've been reading your words while transmitting pictures of this mighty army rolling in the direction of Baghdad, only stopping briefly to empty my urine bottle and to photograph the golden locked commander of Apache Troop, Capt. Dirk Steele. He is Adonis in camouflage, Mars draped in kevlar. He is our leader, our stern daddy with a riding crop always at the ready. He rides an iron stallion, a magnificent steed who seeks out the enemy with its mighty phallus, erupting in furious spasms as it rains Gods own justice upon the head of the evil ones. It is the work of the righteous and I'm proud to be a part of it.

You too, serve. Your words keep the morale up at home. I am a journalist and must remain objective, thus I am forced to write in neutral terms as I did in my report above. It would be unethical for me to introduce bias into my reports--to "cheerlead" if you will. You are not encumbered in the same way. You fight this war with words. Keep up the good work.

Heterosexually yours,

Roger Walters

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We'll try dumping haloscan and see how it works.