The case for war against Pender Island, British Columbia (Part 3)
Every few days, I go down to the local gym and hang around the locker room to look for suspicious activity. You never know what you'll see when the men there undress. I once saw a tattoo on a white guy that was written in Chinese. He was obviously a Red Chinese spy. I followed him everywhere for months. He couldn't use the bathroom without me being there. He tried every spy trick in the book in an effort to shake my surveillance. Threats, restraining orders, arrests -- nothing stopped me.
After about 17 months of following him to no avail, I finally struck pay dirt when he grabbed a ferry to Pender Island and checked himself into a place called Camp Spartacus. I thought that it must be some kind of gladiator camp. I was absolutely thrilled because I'm a huge fan of gladiator movies. I hid outside for nearly a week, waiting for him to leave so that I could check in.
Unfortunately, once I did get in, I learned that it wasn't a gladiator camp after all. It was a secret weapons of mass destruction production site. Thank God I had my camera and was able to take the pictures posted below. I authenticated them using two different sources. First, I sent them to Judith Miller of the New York Times. She showed them to her contacts at the Department of Defense and they confirmed that these are indeed pictures of a WMD production facility. I then sent them to Donald Rumsfeld. He showed them to his contact at the New York Times, Judith Miller. She noted that she had seen similar pictures that had been authenticated. There I had it, confirmation from two sources. Pender Island was making weapons of mass destruction.
