Jesus' General

Praise Jesus and Gen. Boykin

I see that this Billmon feller has been writing about me. I read his blog every day, but I can't figure him out. On the one hand, he hangs out at a whisky bar which is a very manly thing to do, but on the other, he seems to lack the respect real men, like myself, have for Our Leader. I have to wonder if he's wrestling with the Demon of Reason, Satan's most powerful and sissified minion, tasked with the job of undermining our faith in our Heavenly Father and His appointed representatives on Earth.

Anyway, Billmon wonders what I think of Gen. Boykin's recent statement about how our Lord and Savior made Our Leader president even though he had fewer votes than the little girl he ran against. The statement makes perfect sense to me. Jesus has the ultimate electoral vote. Sure, he could have just given the popular vote to The Chosen One, but that would have left some doubt about His will. By doing it this way, Jesus was saying, "He's my guy, and if you don't like it, you can kiss my immaculate ass."

Think about it. Hasn't Our Leader's whole rule been characterized by this kind of heavenly show-boating? Isn't it obvious that God hid Iraq's weapons of mass destruction so that He could taunt us by making it seem that The Chosen One was placing our sons and daughters in harms way for no good reason?

Praise Jesus and his infinite hubris. Our Lord has touched the hearts of national security conscious Republicans so that they defend the outing of a CIA agent. He has prompted fiscal conservatives to cheer The Chosen One's budget policy and free trade advocates to applaud tariffs. One cannot deny God's hand in this. What other explanation can there be?