This whole argument about giving homosexuals human rights is distracting us from protecting the ultimate traditional family value, the American family. In these days of high divorce rates and single parents, the traditional family is disappearing. Sure there are still many family units composed of a man, his wife, and his children (yes, possessive masculine pronouns are a traditional family value too), but, we're also seeing more single parent and "blended" households in our society.
It's time to end this erosion of the family. That's why I'm asking my Congressman to introduce the following constitutional amendment:
A family in the United States shall consist only of a man and a woman, united in wedlock, and a child or children who are their joint offspring. Neither this constitution or the constitution of any state, nor state or federal law, shall be construed to require that familial status or the legal incidents thereof be conferred upon any other groups.
I know that some of you are going to wonder how this amendment affects childless married couples and couples with adopted or step children. The answer is that it doesn't affect them in any way other than to disallow them recognition as families.
Sure, the part beginning with the word "neither" might look as if it would prevent a stepmother (now called an "adult custodial unit") from visiting her stepchild (spousal mistake unit) in the hospital, but that's not the case. Trust me. No matter what the language of the amendment actually says, it doesn't prevent states from passing "civilly recognized adult-child unit" laws that would allow such visitation.
Of course there are going to be a few bleeding heart Frenchmen out there who are going to shed crocodile tears for what they'd call disparate treatment of like groups, but to hell with them; they're French. If a single parent household wants to move to a state like Franceachussetts to become a civilly recognized adult-child unit, let them. At least they won't be called a family.
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We'll try dumping haloscan and see how it works.