Jesus' General

We don't need no stinkin' foreigners loving Our Leader

As much talk as there's been about Kerry saying that foreign leaders don't like Our Leader, nobody's stated the obvious. Of course they resent him. He's like a father figure to them. The resentment is natural. It's respect that counts.

He's what I'd call the ideal American father. He's conservative, God fearing, vengeful, distant, stern, and ruthless in his dealings with his children. Rebellious boys, like Chirac and Schroeder resent the discipline Our Father imposes on them. They make the wrong choices and Our Father punishes them. Then, instead of taking responsibility for their actions, they backstab Dad by talking to mean Mr. Kerry.

Yes, I know their type. They bristle when their hungover father whips their asses for playing music. When Dad screams during the little league game that they are little limp-wristed homosexuals, they hang there heads in shame rather that punch out Johnny, the little Jewish kid who doesn't believe in Jesus. They value hugs more than the paddle and yearn for reassurance rather than righteous, character building humiliation. In short, they're what my father would call "pussies." I wasn't a pussy. I always pounded the hell out of Johnny, and it's OK if dad still called me foo-foo boy because it builds character. I never cried, dammit.

Anyway, they are impudent children who need correction so that they can become young men in whom Our Father can take pride. Once they submit to his will, they will be ready to become fathers to their own people like Our Father's pride and joy, Islam Karimov.

That's what it's all about. Let them resent Our Father all they want. It's there loss if they'd rather be France and Germany than Uzbekistan.