Dear Rev. Phelps,
I still have goosebumps an hour after reading your eulogy for Pat Tillman. I've always said that no one sends a man to hell better than Fred Phelps, but you outdo even yourself with these words:
Former Arizona Cardinals football player Pat Tillman is a shining example of the impact all famous people could have, if they were interested in the cause of God and Truth. Tillman could have used his fame and fortune to further the Gospel, and instead, he chose to go worship the filthy fag flag and serve in the fag military cramming America's filth down the world's throat.
It's words like these that have convinced me that you are a true warrior. I'd appeciate it if you would send me a picture of yourself for my collection of great Christian soldiers. I prefer one in which you are nude and covered in honey to accentuate your warrior physique--I think the classical form brings out the best physical and spiritual features.
Being a strong, manly, God-fearing heterosexual like yourself, the form of the Christian soldier is all I'm looking for. I wouldn't look at your ruggedly hairy chest, your hard sinewy arms, or your manly sword of procreative glory, glistening with the gift of the honeybee and do anything but stand in awe at God's creation. Indeed, I promise you, in the name of all that is holy, that I will not touch myself while gazing upon your likeness. That is my word to you as a fellow man of God and a committed heterosexual. You can count on it.
Heterosexually yours,
Gen. JC Christian, Patriot
Thanks to Renato for the tip.
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We'll try dumping haloscan and see how it works.