BUT CAN WE CHENEY GIRLIE MEN?

Let's start with the link that I am not providing you with: I am not providing you with a link to the LA Times because my detachable penis registered me there prior to April of 2001, and now I can't find my wife's account # and my detachable penis no longer salutes me when I enter a room, much less engages in any discussions regarding politics. He claims he's in love with Dick Cheney, that they have an "understanding" but I know that Dick gave my penis to his daughter who paired him up with some dildo name Rudy and now I have to get the guest room ready by August so Rudy can have a door between him and our circumcised dog. And my penis wants to go pick out tiles for the guest room. Fuck him.

So no link to the LA Times. But here is what I saw (partial) on the front page of the CALIFORNIA (B) section:

Gov. Criticizes Legislators as 'Girlie Men'

In a speech in Ontario, he urges voters to 'terminate' at the polls those lawmakers who refuse to approve his state budget plan.

By Peter Nicholas
Times Staff Writer

Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger mocked his opponents in the California Legislature on Saturday as "girlie men," and called upon voters to "terminate" them at the polls in November if they don't pass his $103-billion budget.

I began to adjust my legs as I read this--I also performed one slight tug at my Organic Grocery Sac. My wife looked up at me from across the table, but she suspected nothing.

Using tough rhetoric that borrowed from his days as a bodybuilder and actor, the governor said state lawmakers are telling "lies" and are "back to their old habits" after a post-recall burst of bipartisan collaboration.

My penis yawned, as penises often do. The initial stirring faded from memory.

Legislators, he said at a rally in the food court of the Ontario Mills shopping center, are "part of a bureaucracy that is out of shape, that is out of date, that is out of touch and that is definitely out of control in Sacramento."

By now my penis is snoring loudly, and I asure my wife the sound is the house settling.

Schwarzenegger added, "They cannot have the guts to come out there in front of you and say, 'I don't want to represent those special interests: the unions, the trial lawyers'...I call them girlie men. They shoud go back to the table, and they should finish the budget.

Those words hit my crotch like a wave of cold, sexy water, and my little soldier jumped out of his bunker and starting flying all around the room. Let's face it, guys, when Arnold says girlie men we are no longer responsible for our minds, our souls or our penises. My wife looked up from reading Get Fuzzy long enough to display her disapproval, withering disgust and superior disdain--all of which took about 1.7 seconds. I make a mental note to place a personal ad looking for an 18 year old Swedish girl with good credit.

Anyway, I don't write letters to actors who become Governors who, when working the crowd, use lines made up by writers on a television network who have comedians say those lines while doing impressions of those actors on SNL. I just don't, can't, won't. Jimmy crack corn and I don't care.

So now my penis is in love with Arnold and is no longer returning Dick Cheney's phone calls. My wife keeps teasing me with her impression of an 18 year old Swedish girl with good credit ('Ja, I shure will be pickin' up dat check there, shure thing!') and my dog keeps begging me to buy him a piercing for his penetrator .

I would terminate for a girlie man right about now, but my wife has her limits, even if I don't. A man has to respect that, don't you think?

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