MESSOPOTAMIA STORY

I WANT TO FIGHT IN ARABIA (abridged)
(Apologies and tapping toes to Mr. Sondheim)

BUSH
I want to fight in Arabia
Turn out the lights in Arabia
We’d hit the heights in Arabia
Dance in the nights in Arabia

POWELL
I like it back in old DC

BUSH
We’re gonna go and invade me?

POWELL
Freedom’s ringing throughout the land

BUSH
What part of wealth don’t you understand?

Halliburton in Arabia
Shiny steel curtain in Arabia
Profits for certain in Arabia
You could die flirtin’ in Arabia

POWELL
I’m kind of sad there’s no Al Gore

BUSH
Want to have sex with Miss Amanpour?

POWELL
Some people think I’m an Uncle Tom

BUSH
I had an uncle who was really calm

Adventures galore in Arabia
You’ll want to see more in Arabia;
They show me the door in Arabia
Money for shore in Arabia.

[The girls whistle and dance.]

POWELL
I will go shopping in New York

BUSH
Talk about barrels but never pork

POWELL
I’ll go to Times Square and start to sing

BUSH
I’ll be in Baghdad and be a King
[all except Powell:]
I like the sand in Arabia!
They chop off your hands in Arabia!
The streets thronging with fans in Arabia,
Kick out the jams in Arabia!
[They whistle and dance.]

POWELL
I'll bring a book to read in Maine

BUSH
Books are for goats—are you insane?

POWELL
Can’t we just stop and take a break?

BUSH
Nobody there knows my accents fake!

[The song ends in a joyous dance.]

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(AUTHOR'S DISCLAIMER: I cut out all the slow stuff...seriously, I did. I cut it out.)

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