Help Me Reach 12 on the Manly Scale of Absolute Gender

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Saturday, July 17, 2004

Verily, It Is A Sign

Recently, I awakened from a fitful sleep while driving home from a manly tavern. Fearing the worst, I turned my head toward the passenger seat, but my fears were unfounded: the missus was not to be seen. Grinning from V Neck to occipital bones, I looked back to the road, which was moving! The road was moving! It was a SIGN! I settled down when I realized the road wasn't moving, but then I got all riled up again when I realized I was moving! Man, these things just pile on in life, don't they?

Anyway, back on the road, I began to think that, being as how I'm a God Fearin' sort--seriously, I will shit sideways when I meet the Big Guy--then maybe I should not eat for a day or two before my big moment with Pappa Daddy. And I'm trying to work out how you time meals in the Afterlife when BANG! another sign appeared. It was a SIGN! When the Good Lord wants you to pay attention, he don't wait for a commercial break, he just gives you a SIGN!

So, my point is, as you drive under an overpass or over an underpass, as you notice attractive architectural features and wonder what the Lord might want performed, just look for a SIGN! He will give you one. Oh, and remember: Billboards are in the Hands of the Beholders.

Have a Nice SIGN!

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We'll try dumping haloscan and see how it works.