Rep. David Dreier
US House of Representatives
Dear Rep. Dreier,
I'm at my wits end. I promised my friend, Darren, that I'd get him a speaker for his meetup group, Closeted Homosexual Republican Congressmen for Bush 2004, but my plan to ask Rep. Ed Schrock doesn't seem like such a good idea after all the recent revelations about him.
According to an article in the Blue Lemur, you might be the perfect choice to replace Schrock. You seem like a good Christian conservative, and your voting record is just about as homophobic as his.
Would you be interested?
We'll need a picture for our program. We usually ask for a photo in which the guest is using honey, cornflakes, and a golf club (preferably a 3 wood) in a creative way--it's a little tradition we have. In the past, we also included a badger, but Sen. Santorum had an unpleasant experience--let's just leave it at that. I don't like to think about it anymore.
I'm running out of time, so please get back to me as soon as possible.
Heterosexually yours,
Gen. JC Christian, patriot
Elsewhere: I've updated my own Bush meetup site, "Little Soldiers for Bush".
No comments:
Post a Comment
We'll try dumping haloscan and see how it works.