Help Me Reach 12 on the Manly Scale of Absolute Gender

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Thursday, September 09, 2004

God loves a badger

Rep. David Dreier
US House of Representatives

Dear Rep. Dreier,

I'm at my wits end. I promised my friend, Darren, that I'd get him a speaker for his meetup group, Closeted Homosexual Republican Congressmen for Bush 2004, but my plan to ask Rep. Ed Schrock doesn't seem like such a good idea after all the recent revelations about him.

According to an article in the Blue Lemur, you might be the perfect choice to replace Schrock. You seem like a good Christian conservative, and your voting record is just about as homophobic as his.

Would you be interested?

We'll need a picture for our program. We usually ask for a photo in which the guest is using honey, cornflakes, and a golf club (preferably a 3 wood) in a creative way--it's a little tradition we have. In the past, we also included a badger, but Sen. Santorum had an unpleasant experience--let's just leave it at that. I don't like to think about it anymore.

I'm running out of time, so please get back to me as soon as possible.

Heterosexually yours,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot

Elsewhere: I've updated my own Bush meetup site, "Little Soldiers for Bush".

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We'll try dumping haloscan and see how it works.