Other priorities

I'm sure that the merry band of Frenchmen who control what we see and hear on the TV will make a big deal out of the 350 tons of high explosives that were looted from a storage facility in Iraq. They'll certainly screech and holler about how those same explosives are now being used to kill and dismember our sons in that burgeoning democracy.

Pay no attention to them. As Deputy Leader once remarked about why he didn't go to Vietnam, we "had other priorities." We didn't have enough troops to guard both the oil ministry and the explosives bunker. One of them had to remain unguarded.

Getting control of the oil was more important. Otherwise, the insurgents wouldn't have pipelines to blow up using the looted HMX and RDX. You see, the oil facilities act as a kind of flypaper for these rebels. One of these days, we'll catch them blowing one up. Then we can bring the troops home.

Some might also question why we spent our time toppling statues rather than guarding the bunker. They're just showing their ignorance. Toppling the statues was the first step in achieving the vibrant democracy we're seeing in Iraq today.

That's why it took so long for own democracy to flourish. Our founding fathers didn't get it started with a killer photo op--they had to wait years for a painting to be made. We didn't have that much time to wait in Iraq. Not with all those insurgents running around with explosives.