The year in review II

I'm counting down to the New Year by republishing some of my favorite posts from 2004. I first posted tonight's selection on April 15.

Thank you for blackballing the homosexual

Dear Sen. Boettger,

Thank you for killing Jonathan Wilson's nomination to the Iowa State School board. It's refreshing to see a politician fight so hard for a cherished traditional American value like discrimination. I have little doubt that future generations will mention your name along with Lester Maddox, John C. Calhoun, and Bull Conner whenever great defenders of that fine tradition are mentioned.

Of course, there will be those who condemn your actions. They will argue that Wilson's homosexuality has nothing to do with his ability to serve on the state school board. They are not thinking about the possible problems that could have resulted from his appointment. For instance, what if he jumped up on a table during a school board meeting and whipped out his "little homosexual" and waved it around, using it to entrance the audience? If the meeting was televised on cable, thousands of good, decent, Christian Iowans would swarm Ikea the next day, looking for tastefully designed furniture. Hundreds of thousands of dollars would flow to the Swedes. That makes it a national security issue.

Thank you for keeping the Homeland safe.

Heterosexually yours,

Gen. JC Christian, Patriot