The sex gods of Bozeman

Pius Ruby
God-fearing Yoga Instructor

Dear Mr. Ruby,

I was sorry to hear that Satan's handmaids at the school board had denied your request to have the book, On the Bright Side, I’m Now the Girlfriend of a Sex God: Further Confessions of Georgia Nicolson, removed from the middle school's library shelves. It's unfortunate that they fell for the excuse that handsome young men are called "sex gods" in England. This is America, dammit. Montana's children shouldn't be exposed to such Euro-filth.

That's the thing I don't like about books. Unlike TV, there's no reliable way to control the ideas held within them. A few words from Secretary of Indoctrination Spellings to PBS and a couple of lesbian syrup farmers become instant unpersons; it takes a mob of torch and pitchfork wielding Baptists to do the same for books.

I can't understand how you failed to convince the school board. Your argument that the term "sex god' could encourage young girls to approach older men and thus lead to statutory rape was absolutely brilliant. I mean who couldn't look at a middle-aged yoga instructor from the Bozeman Christian Center and think "sex god?" Putting those two words together in places where teenage girls can see them is just asking for trouble.

Heterosexually yours,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot

P.S. As long as you're crusading against immoral book titles, could you do something about Hop on Pop?