Slippery Slope

Eric Bents
Trinity Church

Dear Pastor Bents,

The Yankton Press quotes you as saying that you believe Christians should be able to fire people for being homosexuals and that any effort to outlaw that practice would "unleash a 'moral tsunami' that would erode other cultural institutions." I couldn't agree with you more.

As far as I'm concerned, it would be as bad as allowing them to marry like real human beings. We know what the consequences of that would be. Sen. Santorum says it would lead to hot steamy dog love, and Sen. Cornyn warns of box turtle trysts.

I know from personal experience what happens when homosexuals are given employment rights. I was traveling to Seattle on the day Washington State extended employment protection to Dorothy's friends. In fact, I was stuck on Snoqualmie pass waiting for the Department of Transportation to finish up avalanche work. Just as I heard on my radio that the bill had passed, my car door was flung open and I was taken into the timber by a huge, hairy, stinking sasquatch. He bent me over a log and gave me a rogering like you wouldn't believe. Then, the elk started in. I couldn't walk for days.

That's what you can expect if you allow the bill to pass.

Heterosexually yours,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot