Smiting: it's not just for Jesus anymore

Rudy Takala
Manly Homeschooler

Dear Rudy,

I loved the column you wrote for Renew America, Liberals Ain't Got No Manhood. It's about time someone stoop up for our right to engage in the ultimate leisure time activity, recreational smiting. Yep, there's nothing a real man enjoys more than greasing a few people after a hard day at the office.

It's amazing how much things have changed. Four years ago, a man couldn't admit to his love for violence. Now, we have pastors who tell us to watch gladiator movies because "God designed men to be dangerous," Marine generals who joyfully proclaim their love for shooting brown people, and sixteen-year old Christian columnists who defend them.

I wholeheartedly agree with the points you made in your column. Men who decry violence aren't really men at all; they're pussies who will destroy this nation with their morally relativistic thinking. We should hunt them down and shoot them for sport. That's what real men would do. Then, they'd go to the nearest bar, have a few beers, and punch each other in the arm.

Thanks again for your efforts to make homicidal tendencies fashionable again. You're a good kid. You've got a lot going for you. I bet you'll even get to kiss a girl soon.

Heterosexually yours,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot