An Army Major 's war against Democrats, Chi-Coms, Mexicans, and Satan

Major James F. Linzey
United States Army

Dear Major Linzey,

Ask any random group of people to name the fronts in our Eternal War to Resubjugate Brown People and most will answer "Iraq," some will add Afghanistan, but few, if any, will mention the Mexican Border. It's the forgotten front.

You must find that to be very frustrating. It must make it difficult for you to exhort people to volunteer to help the Minutemen guarding our border in Arizona (mp3 file* [These links are dead. You can hear the recordings by playing them on the player at the bottom of this post]). Hopefully, it's an easier sell once potential recruits hear the secret CIA intelligence you share during your radio interviews. After all, what true patriot could resist an offer to sign up after he hears the news that we captured four Red Chinese soldiers sneaking a dirty bomb across the border (mp3 file*) or the intel about the 5,000-10,000 Chi-Com trainers who are preparing the Mexican Army to invade the United States (mp3 file*).

Normally people would discount such information as the ravings of a lunatic, but coming from an officer in the U.S. Army--the very man to whom Our Leader entrusted our Iraqi invasion force's spiritual well-being--such charges are given a level of credibility that cannot be ignored.

The same holds true for your claims that the Democratic Party and the Communist party are one in the same and that Satan sent the Democrats to destroy our nation (mp3 file*). Your status as an Army officer provides these charges with a credibility that might otherwise be missing.

I salute you for providing us with this important information. Sadly, far too many Army officers are too timid to bring the truth to the people. I thank God for giving you the courage to do so.

Heterosexually yours,

General JC Christian, patriot

*The MP3 files are from a March 12, 2005 interview with Major Linzey on The Edge with Daniel Ott radio show.

Update: The links to the sound files are dead, so I put them in the player below:

FileFactory.com