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Saturday, May 21, 2005

The myth of the female orgasm

Ed Vitagliano
Editor, AFA (American Family Association) Journal

Dear Mr. Vitagliano,

Our great nation ain't what it use to be. Thirty-plus years of feminism has transformed it into a festering canker of wickedness. The womenistas have seized our popular culture with shows like "Maude" and "Sex in the City" and used it to spread the most damaging of all lies--the notion that women should enjoy conjugal relations.

It's a perjury more damaging than any other because it strikes at the very heart of the marital relationship. Women, raised to believe in the myth of the female orgasm, cannot help but be disappointed after fulfilling their marital duties. I've witnessed it many times myself: the dumbstruck look, the inevitable question, "is that it," the crying, the throwing up, the accusations of inadequacy, the claim that my neighbor knows how to do it right (as if Ofjoshua would know anything so personal about Mr. Hernandez).

We've forgotten that this idea that women like sex is new. As a radical from Boise, France reminds us, it wasn't that long ago when women were told the truth about their burden:

While tripping through the blogosphere, I happened upon this nice little instructional manual from 1894 called INSTRUCTION AND ADVICE FOR THE YOUNG BRIDE...

"To the sensitive young woman who has had the benefits of proper upbringing, the wedding day is, ironically, both the happiest and most terrifying day of her life. On the positive side, there is the wedding itself, in which the bride is the central attraction in a beautiful and inspiring ceremony, symbolizing her triumph in securing a male to provide for all her needs for the rest of her life. On the negative side, there is the wedding night, during which the bride must pay the piper, so to speak, by facing for the first time the terrible experience of sex.

[...]

[T]he bride's terror need not be extreme. While sex is at best revolting and at worse rather painful, it has to be endured, and has been by women since the beginning of time, and is compensated for by the monogamous home and by the children produced through it.

[...]

One heartening factor for which the wife can be grateful is the fact that the husband's home, school, church, and social environment have been working together all through his life to instill in him a deep sense of guilt in regards to his sexual feelings, so that he comes to the marriage couch apologetically and filled with shame, already half cowed and subdued."

Oh, how far we've fallen since the time when people weren't afraid to speak the truth. No one dares defend these traditional values today because they will be subjected to ridicule. I know this first hand. I've spoken about the myth of the female orgasm at numerous town meetings and scout gatherings. I am invariably met with smirks, laughter, and whispers about why Ofjoshua spends so much time with Mr. Hernandez. It's humiliating. No one man can be expected to take such abuse by himself. We need to create a movement.

That's where you and the American Family Association come in. You have the resources to launch a comprehensive media campaign to inform America's women about the horrors of the marital bed. Our Holy Republican Trinity, or better yet, their wives, could serve as your spokespeople--just as they're doing now on every other issue.

The television ad basically writes itself. The First Lady, Mrs. Frist, and Mrs. DeLay speak to the camera in turn, each describing the horror and revulsion they feel every time they perform their solemn marital duties. Their tears will water our garden of truth.

Please discuss this idea with Pastor Wildmon and get back to me. We have decades of feminist propaganda to overcome. We need to get on with it right away.

Heterosexually yours,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot

1 comment:

  1. I'm a woman...are you telling me that we really CAN'T have orgasms? I'm just hoping this is some sort of joke website, and if it is, sorry! It did make me laugh! :]

    Because I'm pretty sure I've had a little somethin' somethin' going on down there once or twice, hahaaa.


    Then again, I AM a lesbian, so maybe women are naturally better at pleasing eachother...
    So maybe you don't believe in lady-gasms because you've never given a girl one.

    ReplyDelete

We'll try dumping haloscan and see how it works.