Say hello to my little friend

That fine patriot at Crooks and Liars plays matchmaker:

Dear Neal Horsley,

I was really impressed with your love of animals. Hell, who hasn't shagged a few mules in their day and lived to tell the tale. You've given a whole new meaning to the phrase "puppy love."

When you said, "If it's warm and it's damp and it vibrates you might in fact have sex with it." I was thinking that you're on to something there. Have you ever heard of Bullnet? It's a company out of the UK that produces a product called Henry , the professional vacuum cleaner. Henry is equipped with a long hose; a great set of tools and a super turbine engine that vibrates like no other. One owner says "it's so refreshing to find a product that is not only really good but is so simple and, as a real bonus so friendly (they make me blush sometimes.)

I'm sure you won't be bashful about mounting old Henry and taking him for a roll in the haystack. I guarantee that he will satisfy your most insatiable needs and your testimonial would be invaluable in helping us reach the bestiality market place that we haven't been able to get ourselves plugged into as of yet.

Heterosexually yours,

Crooks and Liars