He ain't crazy; he's just bothered

Another fine letter from Crooks and Liars. He suggests that you view this video before you read it.

Duncan Hunter
Chairman of the House Armed Services Committee

Dear Rep. Hunter,

I always thought of Guantanamo Bay as a place of disgrace. A hideous example of what the United States of America stands for. But after hearing your heartfelt press conference yesterday, I realized that the many reports disseminated by the liberal elite media were nothing more than an attempt to demoralize our fine troops and condemn that great detention facility. It's just like those panty wipes to manipulate the American people into thinking that Gitmo is not the most noble institution it surely is. With a need for better public relations around the world, I have a great idea that we can spread throughout the Arab world.

Guantanamo Bay Holiday Vacations Resort

We can advertise it thusly:

Have you felt like your life has been empty and unfulfilled? Or are you working so hard at those three jobs just to pay the rent that you need a little R&R?

Then come to Guantanamo Bay Holiday Vacations Resort.

It's a wondrous, exotic paradise filled with all the excitement a family could want. The lavish prison is situated right on the beachfront of Guantanamo Cuba. It's built on a fabulous sandy knoll that is located just south of the bay.

Be the first family on your block to experience a weekend in the most glorious barbed wire fences and velvety concrete we have to offer. With our super sized cells, you can fit a family of four on two of our king-size cots.

If you don't have any pets, don't worry. We can supply you with the cutest little pit bulls available anywhere in the world.

You'll also find your very own personal waterboarding instructor handy at any time. For daily activities we have a new game called "put this bag on your head"." Its very popular with the kids. We have plenty of neon colored leashes that glow in the dark, so if you just want to drag each other around in the soot, be our guest. For your music enjoyment we also feature a sound system the blasts the latest from Weezer and Cold Play to Beyonce and Mariah Carey twenty-four hours a day. Sometimes we do forget to turn it off, but that could happen to anybody.

But the best part of all is the cooking from our fine French chef, monsieur Duncan Hunter the fourteenth. His specialties are two kinds of chicken; fried or lemon, with elegant side dishes of broccoli, sauteed peas and mushrooms. You'll also have access to a full line of rugs, beads, Bibles, Korans, oils, incense and much, much more for your religious pleasure. So come on down and be the first to enjoy a weekend at Guantanamo Bay Holiday Vacations Resort.

Metrosexually Yours

The Colonel Crooks and Liars

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