Enter the Savior

Pat Robertson
The 700 Club

Dear Pat,

Calling for the assassination of Hugo Chavez was a gutsy move. It opened you up to all sorts of ridicule by those who've bought into the Prince of Peace myth so effectively promoted by the more feminized denominations. They'll say that by endorsing murder, you have abandoned the path of righteousness and embraced evil.

Unfortunately, Jesus' love of mayhem is no longer taught in the churches. With the exception of the money changers incident, you won't find a single example of the Lord's penchant for violence anywhere in the New Testament. It was all expurgated from the Gospels by the Catholics centuries ago.

The only evidence left is a fragment found in a letter from Clement of Alexandria to a young monk in Corinth. These verses originally followed the story of the miracle of the water and the wine in the Gospel of St John.

John 2:5?-10?

And Simon spake, "It is elegantly bodied with a fruity nose, Lord, and I detecteth a hint of cherry with chocolate overtones and a mushroomy finish."

Jesus smiled and looked upon Mary Magdalene. "Come let us partake of this wine," spaketh the Lord, "and as the night groweth darker, I shall showeth thee my etchings."

Josiah heard Jesus' words and his heart was hardened against him. "Have this harlot," Josiah spaketh, "Thou art not the first. Seven times seventy and seven men have known her. She shalt surely mock thy puny centurion"

The Lord rose in righteous anger and using his knowledge of gymkata, smote Josiah by tearing his heart from his chest. The Lord's swiftness was great and Josiah saw his heart beating in Jesus' hand before his spirit had departed him.

Mary spake, "Show me thine etchings now, Lord."

Jesus smiled.

Yes, it's a great story, perhaps the greatest one ever told. It's too bad so few people know of it. Perhaps that's the reason God is allowing your enemies to attack you. It provides you with a reason for bringing these verses to a wider audience.

Heterosexually yours,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot