Bill Bennett
Arbiter of Virtues
Sen. Hank Erwin
Alabama State Senate
Dear Mr. Bennett and Sen. Erwin,
Have you considered working together? You share similar values, and recent statements you've made suggest that you might be able to help us get through the greatest problem Congress will face over the next decade.
Think about it. Mr. Bennett believes that we could put a big dent in crime if only we were allowed to abort all the brown babies. And Sen. Erwin is certain that our Heavenly Father killed thousands of Christian men, women and children, because gambling offended him. Now, if we could only convince God to bring his mighty wrath down upon brown people for the same reason, we might be able to make a enough room in our crowded prisons to be able to hold sessions of Congress in them and, thereby, resolve the problem of absenteeism in the Republican caucuses we're facing for the next five to ten years.
You are the perfect pair to lead such an endeavor. Mr. Bennett can pull slot levers while Sen. Erwin asks the Lord to punish brown people for his partner's sins.
What do you think? Are you with me on this?
Heterosexually yours,
Gen. JC Christian, patriot
Helmet tips to readers kingweasel, Allen, Nick, John, Eric and a bunch of others I missed.
Update: Sen. Erwin defends his comments on Scarborough.
No comments:
Post a Comment
We'll try dumping haloscan and see how it works.